Knights of the Altar: She met God at a dance

Thursday, February 18, 2010

She met God at a dance

She is glorious
transcending the tide of earthbound rhythm.
And her face- the canvass of laughter and tears
And time turns resplendent like a waltz
and she always moves with grace
reminding us of the power of God to change lives eternally.
Because that is what life is-
an amazing dance
even though the dance leads into dark valleys and lonely places
it remains a dance
and God has beckoned her
He placed her hand in His.
the glorious dance that began one fair and gallant dawn
when a stone was rolled away and Mary,
a grieving mother turned sorrow into dancing
her heart danced with unspeakable joy
and the music began
and the dance of eternal life began
and so the dance continues
a dance that reminds us of a soon coming feast when a father welcomes his children
a home with many rooms and new wine

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knights of the altar

Holiness, or the fullness of Christian life, is given to us by God through grace, but requires a mature personality, a firm will and good habits. Our Christian life is not simply a life of do's and don't's, but rather a life of imitating Christ, our model, who is Perfect God and Perfect Man. Through grace and human effort we can acquire the virtues or good habits that make us better persons, by striving for that human perfection presented to us by Christ, not only when we reach heaven, but even here on earth.
Virtues are not something abstract, separated from one's everyday existence. It affects precisely his life, his outlook, his actions and his relationship with others, so much so that one not only "lives and acts in a virtuous way", but rather one "is a virtuous person."
Like most other things in life, the virtues have to be learned. God may give them to us as gifts, but we should also cooperate with His grace and do our part. When we know more about the virtues, we begin to love them more, and we realize the good that they bring about. Little by little, we discover that it becomes easier for us to fulfil our duty of being good examples to others - good examples of ordinary persons in the middle of the world, just like everybody else, who live their Christian vocation fully, in the most natural way, so that others could see that the Christian life is a life full of joy, inspite of all the difficulties that man encounters in this world.
For an Altar Server all these may seem a difficult task, but for those who trust in God's grace, nothing is impossible. When the Holy Spirit reminded us in the Second Vatican Council of our duty to seek holiness - a duty of all Christians - He was not presenting to us an unreachable ideal. Instead, He wants us to realize that we can live the fullness of our Christian vocation without looking for the impossible, and without even searching for extraordinary moments to live it.
Lastly, by living these virtues very well, the Altar Server prepares himself to receive many graces from God - and among these graces, for a great number of the Servers, is the gift of vocation to the priesthood. This is one of the greatest graces that he can ever receive, and aside from thanking God, he should also do his best to nurture it until the time comes for him to formally undergo the necessary formation to become a priest.

Knights’ Pledge

We, The Knights of the Altar, pledge allegiance to our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ, to His representatives on earth, and to Mary, our Queen Immaculate, whom we will serve faithfully until we attain eternal triumph in heaven. We pledge ourselves to form a worthy guard of honor to our Divine Eucharistic King in whose service we willingly assume the dignity and honor of becoming Knights of the Altar; to render faithful, reverent and edifying service to God by assisting His visible representatives, the Bishops and Priests, in offering the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and in all other liturgical and devotional functions; to enkindle in the hearts of the faithful, whom we represent at the altar, greater piety and devotion by reverently performing the duties of our holy office and by giving good example in our daily lives.

Knights of the Altar Changing boys for the better.

Knights of the Altar manifestly hit that balance in three ways: understanding the boys’ need for acceptance by a group, healthily promoting their desire to be heroes, and catering to their love of competition and challenges.

Peers. Respect. Acceptance. 12-14 year olds have an almost universal proclivity to find strength in numbers, to look to their companions for support and approval, and to show little or no capacity for independent thinking. If something will bring them acceptance by their group of friends, they do it. If not, they reject it. They define themselves by their group of friends and by the acceptance they feel within that group.

All groups, though, form around one or two charismatic individuals who define what behavior is “cool”, and therefore what behavior will find acceptance within a group.

For lack of a better word, “cool” refers to whatever brings adolescents the peer-acceptance they seek. It can mean the qualities in a person which earn him the respect of his peers, or the qualities in an activity or a possession which will earn that respect. For example, a kid is cool when he is popular (funny, daring, athletic, rebellious, etc) and other kids imitate him; a thing (like wearing certain types of clothes, owning something special, belonging to a certain group, listening to certain music) is cool when doing (or wearing, etc) that thing earns a kid the respect of his peers.

The leaders who decide what is “cool” are generally of two kinds. One kind seems to attract a group of boys to him because of his perceived “experience.” Another kind does the same because of his self-assuredness.

First, “coolness-by-experience.” Since an adolescent’s world is so closed, so hemmed in by adult restrictions, those viewed as cool kids are often the ones who have more independence from adult authority and therefore more access to the experiences that to other boys are still forbidden fruit. Since these same boys also tend to be less respectful to adult authority, and tend to denigrate those still under that authority, they create a climate of rebelliousness and disrespect toward adults.

These kids and their followers, however, are inherently insecure. Three things result. The first is that they find security and acceptance by bragging about “experiences.”

Second, the leader in this group feels the need to constantly reinforce his position of predominance. He does this either by openly voicing rebellion against and disdain for adult authority (which leads their followers to increase their good standing with the cool kid by aping those attitudes), or by continuously pushing the boundary of things he dares to do further and further into forbidden territory. This also leads his followers to imitation.

Third, all the boys’ constant fear of not being accepted by the others leads them to outdo each other in staying away from (and therefore openly rejecting) kids not considered cool by their group, which nine times out of ten will lead to bullying.

Any school teacher will recognize the above description. Since “experiences” tend to become more and more morally dubious as the boys grow older, the negative influence of a group like this can be devastating.

Next, however, are those boys who are “cool” because of their self-assuredness. There are few common ingredients for their self-confidence other than the crucial one that they always feel supported by their parents. Often times these boys will be good athletes. Other times they will be smarter than average, or will simply have an innate ability to make friends through kindness. They differ from the “experience” leaders in several important ways.

First, their self-assuredness precludes any desire to form a group of admirers. They are content with being themselves. They can form a group around them at will, however, and when a group does form, often it is simply because they are fun people to be around, and enjoy accepting others the way they are.

Second, since they are not afraid of losing their position of leadership, they do not as often attempt to mark their territory at the expense of adult authority.

Finally, their group, if and when it forms, is generally open to any type of kid, without the fear-driven apartheid practiced by the other type of leader.

Obviously, forming a group of kids around a leader like this is crucial for the success of any youth program. Knights of the Altar was able to recruit the positive leaders in the school, and so it thrived.

Knights of the Altar promotes the boys’ desires to be heroes. This is a universal phenomenon: boys want to be heroes, or better said, they have heroes they want to be like. Cue in the lack of discrepant judgment mentioned above, and it is easy to see why so many young people can make heroes of rotten role models like some rock stars and professional athletes. By instructing young people about what true heroism consists in – living the virtues – and presenting them with examples or archetypes of people who do that – Jesus Christ, saints, knights – a youth program can turn the child’s desire for heroism into a positive, healthy force. Knights of the Altar presents the archetype of knighthood as a model of virtuous living. Since this appealed to the boys’ sense of adventure and hero-worship, the program prospered.

Knights of the Altar caters to the boys’ love of competition and challenge. Boys, and indeed males of all ages, define their sense of self-worth by their ability to overcome challenges. The program presented the boys with difficult tasks like moving to the next stage of Squire or Knight, while at the same time proffering encouragement and reward (an exciting investiture ceremony, serving more complicated Masses). It was thus able to keep the boys’ interest and commitment.

Knights of the Altar is changing boys for the better, but what about the girls? And how deep is the change? Deep enough to open their hearts to a possible priestly vocation?

It would be helpful to review the conditions Pope John Paul II prescribed when, on March 15, 1994, he allowed the practice of girls serving Mass. They are as follows:

1) Female altar servers are not mandated, but permitted, and neither individual priests nor entire dioceses can be obliged to allow girls to serve at the altar.

2) Groups of altar boys are to be preferred, and support is to be given to such groups.

3) The reasons for allowing girls to serve should be explained to the faithful.

4) There is no right, on the part of anyone, not even ordained ministers, to serve the liturgy (or read, distribute communion, etc). The Church decides who may exercise that privilege.

So, girls can serve, but it’s preferable that boys do, and priests and bishops should promote altar boy groups. The best way to allow all of the above to happen would be to have separate programs for boys and girls.

There seem to be two reasons for this: first, the importance to 12-14 year old boys of “the group”; and second, their fear of teasing.

As has been mentioned, boys at this age only find security in their group. They are beginning to find girls attractive, but they relate to girls “as a group”; they do not pair off and start engaging the girls individually until later. Being forcibly separated from that group and having to deal with girls one-on-one is not an appealing experience for boys this age, and yet that is exactly what they are being asked to do if they have to serve Mass with a girl.

Add to that the fear of the teasing that he at least imagines he will receive from “the guys” if they see him up there on the altar with a girl, and it is rare to find a normal boy brave enough to endure the pressure. Isn’t the only other time you see a boy and a girl on the altar during a wedding? Rag. Rag. Rag. Tease. Tease. Tease. Immature? Yes, but that is exactly what 12-14 year olds are – not yet fully developed.

The only solution, if we want boys to be altar servers, is to develop separate programs for boys and girls. Not only will the boys breathe a sigh of relief, but you will get better participation out of both sexes. Boys and girls, gasp, are different. For one, the main attractions to altar serving for boys - the mystery and ritual, the competition, the challenges, the heroism – holds little truck with girls. A fascinating and authoritative look at the subject is Why Gender Matters by Dr. Leonard Sax, MD, PhD. (Random House, 2006.) Separate programs for each would benefit both sides.

Obviously, having an all-boy program would make promoting the vocation to the priesthood a lot easier. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make everyone happy. Some people, often parents or relatives, seem to think that joining an altar boy group is “dooming” a boy to become a priest. That is not true.

First of all, those who would most likely be responsible for promoting the priesthood among the altar boys (priests and seminarians), are the first to recognize that the vocation is a very individual gift from God, and cannot be chosen as if it were a career option. Second, the fact remains that God does call – everyone! All people have a vocation, literally a calling, to something. For nine out of ten of the boys in an altar boy program, that calling will be to fulfillment as a Christian husband and father. For a few, it will be a call to the priesthood. The advantage of an altar boy program that is focused on the service of Christ and that teaches boys to place importance on God’s plan for their lives is that it will help them all follow their vocation, whatever that may be. And that is the goal of Christianity: “Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

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